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I once, for example, tried going along to a London Ladbrokes Casino on Tottingham Court Road...and, I felt so damn shy, competely embarassed(I always wanted to hide the shameful fact that I'm an addictive gambler from everybody else), self-concious...that I couldn't find enough inner courage to ask any stranger there, 'how do you play these games?' So, instead, I brought myself a stiff drink...in order to find courage-but, still didn't find it...thus, I just walked out...never to go back in there, again.
Thus, for me, gambling is something you do in secret behind closed doors, and, at home...well away from crowds of other people...where you are safe from being recognised as somebody who is really incredibly stupid...because, loosing money through gambling -(especially, when you already poor)- always makes me feel like somebody who is a total damn fool! Feels like you are throwing the stuff away...to go feed the, already, rich bookies
For a couple of years I was a phone gambler. I used to make telephone bets through William Hills 0800 767 767. And, read off the bet stakes/results by just watching the pages of TELETEXT TV.
My 1st bets were merely for £10.00 at a time...which was the minimum telephone bet allowed, at that particular time. Then, after loosing, again and again, I decided to go chase my losses...by upping my stake bet to become £20.00/then, £40.00/-etc. Well, it wasn't before long I was making bets of £100/then, for multiple £100's...and, finally, £1000/and, multiple £1000's. My last big bet was for £5,000.00..which was my full credit card limit, at the time...and, it lost...which is when I decided to quit gambling.
All of this betting was done on credit, by the way...because, otherwise, I could certainly never have afforded it. The result of all of this over-spending is that I now owe the credit cards Barclaycard/Mastercard £10,000.00+!!! But, I'm unemployed, and, therefore, do have no real way of paying it back?!
The money grows interest everyday. At the end of the month I have to find, at least, the minimum monthly re-payment of 5%...; or, otherwise, the credit card companies are going to take me off to court. And, even if I pay back £200.00 on say one card...well, £100.00 of that vanished as being merely just pure interest, alone!!! So, that the priciple debt itself doesn't ever seem to be decreasing/but, instead, is steadily increasing.
Then, of course, once I've paid this 5% money in to the credit card companies...; the end result is, now, I'm left totally flat broke! So, I use the credit card to take money back out, again-sometimes, to pay to do even more gambling with. Thus, the debt just stands there still...and, it feels like I'm just going absolutely nowhere...which is most awfully damn depressing! Like waking up everyday with this dark cloud over your head that will never ever go away?!
Well, before I did telephone/tv gambling. Until I stopped...which was over 5 years ago.
But, let me explain something...that even when a gambler isn't gambling...which is, usually, when they don't have enough money left to gamble with?! Or, even if they do deliberately try to control themselves...; then, this doesn't mean they are not gambling...; even though they may not be gambling, physically, through outward show...; yet, in their mind's eye they are still gambling, constantly, non-stop, all the time. They wake up gambling...remain gambling whilst awake...and, then, go off to sleep gambling still...all in their minds eye.
For example, everytime I'm watching TV/or, listening to the radio, and, hear/see that my fav. football team/boxer/tennis player/snooker player/horse/dog trap/-etc. wins...then, I feel very sad, indeed, inside that I, quite stupidly, LOST money...just because I didn't go bet to WIN!!!
So, I've learnt that addictions, really and truly, are for life...because, even when you do stop on the surface...you are still going at it beneath the surface like crazy deep down inside of yourself. And, through recognising this constant almost irresistable urge to gamble...that's how you know you are still a gambler at heart...and, that none of the addiction inside you has left...instead, it's just lurking around there somewhere in the dark shadowy background...patiently, waiting for the one single moment when you decide to drop down your guard...and, then, WHAM it HITS you...and, has come back, again.
During the period when I had stopped...I still did a few gambles...-(simply, couldn't resist having a little flutter, every now and then)-...but, no longer did gambling take over my entire life excusively right from morning through until night...I, occassionally, played the football pools/and, occassionally, the National Lottery, as well/and, maybe, just once or twice bet a small bet on the football.
...and, there they allow you to gamble for FREE (up to 2 goes per day.../and, I play, everyday). The price being that you have to click on an advertisment to complete your play.
Well, I clicked on some gambling adverts...and, then, I felt tempted to go sign up with those sites, recently.
http://www.williamhill.co.ukI joined the web sites in order to discover what online gambling would be alike? Would it be fun/or, boring/and, of course, and, especially, would it be profitable...easier to win?
Well, at first, I didn't do too very badly at it...; and, found I won...; but, then, gamblers have a tendency to get really greedy...never really knowing when to stop...and, therefore, quit whilst still ahead...as in...take the money and RUN!!!
When a gambler decides to keep on gambling, constantly, non stop...then, that's when they pretty soon discover that in the long run the odds are stacked against you...and, so, the bookies are ultimately going to win every single time. First, you discover you've lost all of your winnings...then, you start chasing after those losses...sooner or later, you find yourself loosing more and more and more...and, that the more you try and chase after you losses by doing some more gambling...the more and more you are going to loose on top of it all.
Soooooooo deeply depressing, as well as, fustrating as sheer bitter hell is...trying to beat the bookies! And, having this eternal optimist dream that just won't stop...not even in the face of the reality...which is you are, constantly, loosing...you just cannot seem to prevent yourself from thinking, ok, I lost this time...but, next time, I will WIN, for sure!!!
So, lately, I;ve found I'm getting involved more and more heavily in internet gambling...; and, I'm worried, because I want it to STOP before I'm go back to being where I was before...which was a guy with no life...but, just this ridiculous gambling addiction for 24/7.
You see, yesterday, I lost around £60.00(told myself never, again!)...and, then, today, I woke up, and, lost a further £10.00...and, i'm unemployed and can't afford to loose money in this really stupid way...the money that should be used to pay all of my bills with...is being wrongfully used to support my gambling play habits, instead.
I keep telling myself a lie, that I am in control...and, I will be able to control it. That I'm far too logical, and, also, actutely aware of what my situation is to let it go out of control. But, somewhere, I'm going to have to wake up fast, and, just admit the real truth that I really can't handle gambling, atall. And, the best way to deal with it...is just gamble inside of my own mind, if I must...but, don't do no real life gambling, as it's not even worth the effort. Like throwing all of your money away right down the damn drain!
Gambling addiction always did make me feel most utterly miserable...when you loose -(which is far more often than not)- you go around with this depressed/defeated/hopeless mood...I don't want to go back there, again, at all.
WHAT I'M DOING TO HELP MYSELFI'm also thinking of going to see GA-Gamblers Anonymous. (I've already been there once, before...; but, as I said, I'm a private gambler who tends to gamble, alone...; therefore, I didn't really enjoy getting involved with a huge crowd of people, atall.)
I think, instead, I might have to try some sort of 1 to 1 counselling service...that is, if I'm ever going to talk about it face to face.
Also, at the end of the day, I honestly feel that nothing, and, nobody in this whole wide world can ever help you...if you are not 200% willing to help yourself.
My real problem lies in being broke/unemployed/and, also, being unable to pay off all of my huge debts. That makes me want to find some way to solve this financial sitauation...and, the only thing legal I can think of turning to...to solve it...is, possibly, gambling, alone?! Until that illusionary dream dies in me...then, I fear I will always remain a gambler for all the rest of my entire life.
Bye4now!/BEST wishes, always!/-Paul(UK/London)
PS: Have a NICE day!£5050: Amount spent on gambling each month by six out of 10 British adults.
350,000: Estimated number of British "problem gamblers".
33 per cent: Minimum estimated increase in calls to Gamblers Anonymous since the first National Lottery ticket was sold eight years ago.
£50516,439: Amount stolen from a sorting office safe by senior postmaster Dean Williams, 34, to fund his addiction for gambling on horse racing. He now faces up to nine years behind bars.
£5063.8bn: Total amount staked in all gambling activities, including the Lottery. (£5029.6bn is spent on ordinary betting at bookmakers and Tote.)
£5028m: Amount fed into fruit machines each day in Britain in 2001-02.
131: Number of registered casinos in the UK.
£505.37: Amount spent by average household on Lotto tickets each week.
13,980,000 to 1: Odds against picking all six Lotto numbers.
£503.5bn: Money exchanged in for gambling chips in British casinos last year.
£5044: Average amount spent by a punter during one visit to a UK casino.
£50350: Average amount lost in a visit to a Las Vegas casino.
£503m: Sum to be provided by the gambling industry each year to fund research and help for problem gamblers.
30,000: number of jobs that councillors in Blackpool, Lancashire, hoped would be created by transforming the seaside town casino resort.
699: licensed bingo clubs in UK.
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