by Adrienne Toghraie, Trader's Coach
"What brings you joy?" The answer should just pop out. After all, successful investors and traders are highly goal-oriented, disciplined, and ambitious people. How can you have such qualities in abundance and not know what makes you happy? Yet, strangely enough, a fair number of people cannot answer.
"Okay Adrienne" you say. "Suppose I'm one of those people who doesn't know what brings them joy...What does that have to do with making money in the markets?" If you do not know what brings you joy, you are very likely not going to be able to sustain a long and successful career.
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When you are having a bad day, when you have experienced a serious trading loss, when you are feeling sad because a close friend has died, when your son wrecks your car, or when you begin to question what life is all about, you need to have things in your life that bring you joy. And you need to know immediately what they are so that you can call upon them to remind you that life is still good even when some things about it are going badly.
I know a number of people who gave up successful careers in the markets because they had no reason to be successful. There was nothing in their lives that they wanted to support, to nurture, and to see to completion.
Joy is the juice in your veins, the lift in your step, and the air under your wings. It's what keeps you working on that system and finding the answer to that nagging problem.
Negative emotional states can cause a trader to miss trading signals and lose opportunities. Pessimism can result in depression, or deepen and extend a depression. Depression can put a rapid end to a trading career.
A spouse who sees you only when you are feeling joyless can begin to feel that you are a liability in life. He or she may need to fill life with the company of those who make life happy and pleasant. After all, don't you want to be around people who are happy and can make you smile and laugh? A good and supportive marriage is one of the most important assets a trader can possibly have.
Imagination works much better when the mind is at peace than it does when it is filled with miserable and obsessive thoughts. Great ideas and insights are more likely to come in moments of joy than when the mind is in turmoil. Opportunities seem to abound when you are happy and positive. The same opportunities will be difficult to see when you are mired in pessimism. The most successful investors and traders are able to use their intuition in making decisions. Intuition is available only when your mind is at peace.
When you are able to feel joy in one area, there is a spillover effect into other areas of your life, just as there is a spillover effect when you are feeling angry, pessimistic and upset.
Recently I worked with a client who began our session together with a long series of sad stories and laments. Clearly, Charles' life had not been going well for a long time. His wife had left him, children avoided him and he had given up his trading career as a successful money manager. Charles was living with close friends who tried to encourage him to get on with his life and who recommended he call me.
When I talked with him, Charles sounded hopeless. I asked him what brought him joy in his life; he hesitated and barked at me, "What relevance does joy have in this conversation?" Did I not understand that there was no joy left in his life? But I was undeterred. Yes, joy was the central issue for Charles. If he had nothing that brought him joy, it was unlikely that he would have an anchor to keep him from drifting further away from a successful life. Without something that brought him joy, I would have a hard time giving him a reason to succeed. Without a font of joy, I could not squeeze out any excitement, energy or enthusiasm for the rigours of putting his life back together.
When Charles and I got together for private work I pressed him to go back to times in his life when he was doing things that made him happy. It turned out that he had loved to play the saxophone when he was at school. He had also loved to read historical novels, especially ones about submariners in World War II. In his childhood he had lived in Connecticut and had loved camping in the woods. As we progressed, he began to discover that there were many, many things that had once brought him joy that he had slowly abandoned or forgotten. I convinced Charles to spend time walking through the beautiful North Carolina forests near his home, dusting off his old saxophone and starting to play it again, and going to the library to find some of the newer historical novels and accounts from World War II.
Without any conscious thought, Charles began to find a new energy and passion for getting back into the trading game. When they saw his new sense of his own worthiness, associates who knew his ability as a money manager were eager to invest their capital with him. He is now earning money for his clients and has made positive steps to change his whole life. When I saw him several days ago, he had a bounce in his step, he was dressed like a winner, and he was filled with a sense of optimism. Charles is well on the way to recovering success and happiness. The lesson for him was that if he had allowed himself to do the things that created joy in his life, he would not have reached the bottom.
If, like Charles, you cannot say what brings you joy in life, then you too can look back to the days when you were carefree and spent time doing the things that made you happy. As you begin to list them, you will discover that the list will expand rapidly. Choose three simple things you would like to add back into your life, and then go for it. You will be amazed at the spillover effect on your work in the markets.
If you can figure out what brings you joy, then you can focus your thoughts and energy on those things in your life. The resulting positive energy will, in turn, seep into the rest of your life, including your investing and trading, and will open up new opportunities for success.
The second set of circumstances that creates an environment for 'heart and mastery' comes from those who overcome tremendous adversity. Having what it takes to conquer exceptionally difficult circumstances gives you the endurance to conquer yourself and to achieve mastery.
The movie, Sea Biscuit, is a true story about how several people and one horse combined their efforts to create a champion. To make this happen they had to be in the right place at the right time, experience wonderful triumphs, face great difficulties and make unusually risky choices. All of them faced great adversity and each of them developed the 'heart' of a winner.
They also had the gift of being able to recognise the 'heart' in each other. The horse's owner lost his son in an accident that he blamed himself for. He also lost his wife because she blamed him, too. He needed an opportunity to overcome his sadness and guilt. The trainer, who was living from hand to mouth, needed someone to recognise his special talent for connecting with animals. He was presented with an opportunity to train a horse of his choice.
As a teen, the jockey had to leave his family because they could no longer afford to support him. He longed for the opportunity to prove that he was the special person that his father wanted him to be. Of course, there was Sea Biscuit. The horse needed an environment of nurturing to show his breeding, talent and ability to be a winner. Sea Biscuit was the ultimate of what 'heart' can do for the soul of man. His triumph brought a nation together after the bitter days of the Great Depression by giving people hope for the future.
There are many people throughout history who have overcome great odds and adversity in their quest for greatness. Some people with 'heart' are:In the 'rags to riches' stories that I have collected over the years, there are a few that I think about when I go through a challenging time in my own life. One that stands out is the story of a trader named Roger. He was born into a family that had a difficult time keeping food on the table and a roof over their heads. His father was in a wheelchair and took care of the three children at home. His mother, who had very little education, worked in a candy factory production line. Roger did what he could as the oldest son to help support the family by becoming a paperboy and doing other odd jobs. Since he was unable to finish high school, he thought that he was destined to do blue collar work for the rest of his days. Until the day that changed his life.
Roger was in the habit of doing good deeds for people because he saw his father and mother help others despite their difficulties. He learned from a very young age that good deeds gave you good feelings. With all of the sad moments in his life, he longed for good feelings. So he looked for opportunities to help others.
Roger was working as a maintenance man in an office building in Chicago. One day he found a briefcase filled with important and valuable items, such as contracts and certificates, in the restroom. An executive at the Chicago Board Options Exchange had hurriedly left it there. Roger returned it intact and the man wanted to reward him for his honesty. The man was impressed with Roger and asked about his life. He wanted to know how a good-looking, honourable young man was cleaning buildings for a living.
After Roger told him about his life the man offered him a job as a runner at the CBOE. Runner led to trader, trader led to super trader and super trader was able to send his brothers and sister to school and give his parents a more comfortable life.
While Roger seemed to have been given his break when he became a runner, his training for becoming a trader started from overcoming his difficult life and recognising the value of good deeds.
Suzy was a woman who sought out what she wanted and did whatever it took to be the best she could be. She was a high achiever in school and in the corporate world. Then she became a top multi-level marketing consultant while creating a nurturing home for her family. Suzy's husband was looking for a new career after retirement and in the process, he and Suzy both became interested in trading. She transferred the experience of her multi-marketing skills into becoming successful as a trader. Working side by side with her husband and using the same formula for success, Suzy blossomed into becoming a master trader while her husband developed into a good trader.
The fact is that with the right formula those with the 'heart of a trader' will blossom while others will only be 'good'.
There is another form of greatness. There are those people who, in the process of seeking out one form of success, achieve another.
One of the most talented people that I know in the financial field has written several best selling financial books. He is an exceptional trading teacher and has developed several profitable trading systems. He is one of the best in the world at analysing markets. The only problem is that his target was to become a great trader and that success has eluded him. He has solved the problem by having someone else pull the trigger on trades for him. While he has experienced the rewards of greatness, there is a part of him that would give it all up to become a great trader.
I believe that the 'Heart of a Trader' can be developed. Yes, it is easier for some because of their experiences and resources, but even the best of traders may not reach their top performance if they do not follow a good model. The fortunate thing about working on becoming a great trader is that there is always more than one winner. Even if you only become a 'good' trader, in trading "Good ain't bad."
Adrienne Toghraie, Trader's Coach, has lectured and coached some of the most successful people around the world, and has published eight books on the psychology of trading.
